I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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