the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
