Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
