last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize