you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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