My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
