But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
