You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
