walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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