I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
