I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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