It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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