I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
