It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
