whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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