Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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