eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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