sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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