Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
