I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
