Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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