I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
