tell your sister to shave her snatch
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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