i don't like sucking hair
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
