Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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