i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
