You made me cry and you don't even care
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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