You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
