chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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