Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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