Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
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are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
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had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i out mim tonsoeep
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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