ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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