I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
