used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i've created a new STD.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
