yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
