hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
