I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
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How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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