If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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