did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
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Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
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The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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