He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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