You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
