I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so let's talk penis.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
