I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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