shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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