Jerry, you need to find god
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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