you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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