how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
