Moan for me like Helen Keller
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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