TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
