I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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