My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She is in my trunk
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
