i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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