We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
