I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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