I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
