Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
