her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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