just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
