You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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