She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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