btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
